Wel hi there 2009.

Hm, when was my last post?
I forget.
Probably before I went to qld.
Which was hacking awesome by the way.
I really should have worked on a post all about it, but I honestly cant be stuffed.
Ive gone on and on about to my mates anyway.

So, its 2009 now, which means i have to get into the habbit of saying "this year" instead of "next year". It means I have to also learn to write "09" instead of "08" in my journal date, and I have to get used to saying "I'm in year 11" not year 10. Yeah, its really difficult for me.

So, in the past month, actually, past week, ive realised a lot about myself.
Like how relationships scare the shit out of me.
I think, more than being scared of dying alone, im scared of being stuck with someone I dont "love". You have probably heard me talk about how i dont believe in love. But i do believe in one-sided love.
Anyway, the whole mushy stuff, the "Im crazy about you" stuff, It really makes me think twice about things. It happens everytime.
I only tend to like people continuously wehn they dont like me back, or when i dont know if they like me back, or like me back and dont act it. Ha, I really dont get it. -.-
I suppose sensetive guys really arnt my thing.
And Im probably too picky.

Ive also realised how easily i can make myself stressed. Giving myself dates to finish things really hasnt worked out for me. I think i really just need to learn to go with the flow. Especially manga-wise, and writting-wise. Taking up projects for people too probably doesnt help.
Then just thinking about all the junk I NEED. Gah, i need a new phone, copic markers, lightbox, and a laptop! (yes, NEED, not want.)
I can also make myself really sad easily. Just by thinking of particular things. Which is quite annoying, because it means i have to keep myself busy, to keep myself from thinking, which means i get stressed.
Its really a lose lose situation.

Anyway, 2008 ended really good. And after all the people I lost in 2008, I really did end up meeting someone new. Yeaaah, hes pretty rad.
Im hoping 2009 will be a really good year. At the moment it seems fairly mellow, like 2008, which was extremely boring.
I really have to make life less boring somehow.